Feminity vs. Feminist? Cultivating Goddess Energy in 2024
The Feminist movement goes back to the mid-1850’s, but I’ll fast-forward to the last 10 years that we are most intimately familar with. When “The Future is Female” became popular alongside Hilary Clinton’s Presidential race while blending with “boss babe” culture of being told women have to be better than men.
In the last 10 years was when I fundamentally believe it was hard to decipher if “feminist” means you are representing equal pay and rights or creating a structurally, hostile oppostition with men.
The problem with #BossBabe or #GirlBoss is that she says she doesn’t need a man. She’s too independent, she’s too strong. It’s solely focused on the woman wanted to be self-sufficient, which is what the early feminist movements have enabled women to have (i.e the 19th Amendment to Vote to the Equal Pay Act of 1963, etc.). On top of that, #MeToo has merged to make sexual harassment front and center, and while good intentioned to identify men who have violated woment, it further encourages a divide in the sexes and perhaps “ruining dating” (GQ Magazine).
While contraversal, given the varied definitions and evolution of feminist, I share the notion of separating “Feminist” from “Feminism”.
Femininity and Feminism have been positioned against one another as if they are mutually exclusive opposites that are incompatible. We are led to believe that you can’t be feminine and a feminist at the same time. This assertion is simply not true. The main reason for this false dichotomy is that they are unrelated terms.
- Feminism is a legal and social movement and philosophy.
- Femininity is a biological disposition.
- Feminism is about asserting that all people, no matter what their gender may be, are equal before the law.
Merriam-Webster defines feminism as:
“belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests”
Merriam-Webster defines femininity as:
“the quality or nature of the female sex : the quality, state, or degree of being feminine or womanly”
You can certainly argue for political, economic, and social equality for women while at the same time enjoying cooking your family a meal and enjoying the nurturing nature of your character natural manifest itself.
Some forms of the modern feminist movement have determined that political advocacy should translate to day to day behaviors. In the ultimate twist of irony, many modern feminist want women to act like men. They would prefer that women reject their inherent and unique qualities to adopt those of the opposite sex.
As previously shared on #bossbabe, we created conflict. This phrases merged into “boss bitch” — the assertive female that adopts many masculine traits. To be a “boss bitch” is a choice. It’s a fine choice for some. However, should it be the archetype for all women to aspire to? No. The “boss bitch” has given rise to the “trad wife” (traditional wife). The trad wife completely embraces her femininity…likely to the unnatural exclusion of some of her natural and inherent masculine attributes.
Most people are not completely feminine or masculine. We are all a mix of both. Some men are more feminine. Some women are more masculine. However, by and large our gender to a decent extent determines which qualities we are most likely to have more of. A woman is more likely to have more feminine characteristics than a man. Similarly, most men are more likely to have masculine characteristics. They may shift at any times and are very elastic depending on the circumstance at hand.
The ability and the right to choose between being a “boss bitch” or a “trad wife” is feminism. Determining the right blend for you that feels most natural and authentically reveals your particular mix of femininity and masculinity is femininity. The two are only modestly related concepts that have been conflated.
Allowing a man to pay for a meal, to hold a door open, to rise at a table when a woman gets up are not acts of oppression that are meant to deny a woman her rights as an equal member of society. No. Instead, they are natural expressions of the masculine’s appreciation of the feminine. The most hardened modern feminist feels a tingly rush when a man takes on a provider/protector role by paying, planning, and competently navigating life.
For a woman to be economically independent and viable as a functioning member of society is a good thing. Nowadays, women are more college educated, more successful, and more plentiful in the corporate environment. Women succeeding means feminism has worked and significant progress has been made over the past century in an on-going and imperfect process. That process should, however, not teach women that being womanly is somehow wrong.
A natural desire for the feminine to be around the masculine is an evolved biological trait. Denying these proclivities is not valuable. Being feminine is not a negative biological characteristic that no longer serves us well like craving sugars and fats. Instead, it’s an expression of complementary strengths. Whether it’s straight couples or homosexual couples, the greatest partnerships are the combinations of traits that balance each other’s weaknesses and accentuate each other’s strengths. The combination of the feminine and masculine create a whole unit that can better navigate life.
“The masculine will always seek freedom. But here’s the deepest truth I want you to know, that freedom is hidden in a woman’s sensuality.
― Lebo Grand
The above TLDR? Learn how to fully embrace and embody your sensuality, you’re inadvertently also setting your man free. Embodying your sensuality means tapping into your goddess energy.
The masculine offers focus. The feminine offers circumspect observation. Together, they balance each other well. The masculine can drive the partnership forward. The feminine can be observant of dangers and opportunities as just one example. So, these evolved traits have developed for valuable reasons.
For this reason, we noted above; there is no reason we would want to deny our inherent characteristics. Leaning into our particular blend of masculine and feminine energies is the natural and authentic path. To simply emulate what society holds up as an ideal is to submit yourself to the wishes and preferences of others. Feeling trapped or compelled into meeting those expectations is actually a social convection drive limitation of freedom versus an expansion of liberties, possibilities, and potential.
Whatever combination of “boss bitch” or “trad wife” works for you is up to you.
The workplace, where we spend most of our time, in its current form molds us into masculine cookie cutter beings. The workplace itself, by the way, could use a healthy blend of femininity and masculinity (a separate discussion).
At Taken & Claimed we understand that women have been conditioned from the male-dominated workplace to subvert their femininity. As a result most women have forgotten how to access it and discover that feminity is more powerful than #bossbabe
At Taken & Claimed we will provide resources for women to rediscover the beauty in their strengths and virtues that come along with being a feminine being.
Follow us on Medium or at @takenandclaimed on Instagram to find Workbooks and other resources to help cultivate your feminity and goddess energy. We’d love to see and bring you into the conversation.
